The Here, The Now, The Present...

So I haven't posted lately...

Haha I guess its because either I have been going through some hard times

OR

I might just be enjoying life to much to really remember to post.

...

Well its both :) But both being a good thing...ish.

Lately with where I am in the world, 

With what i'm doing.

I feel like I have been distant with my closest friends.

What also bothers me is that after telling my closest friend

my deepest secret that I wanted out,

He has been distant...

I mean we hang out but its like we're not really there.

We're only there for one person, and its the other person 

whose with us. 

But I feel stupid complaining about it on a blog.

Haha now that I feel the pressure of hearing people read my blog

 I feel like i'm probably boring you with my problems.

Lately I've been "learning" something amazing.

"You need to be selfish in order to be selfless"

I have been having issues relying to much on others.

I have been focusing on others.

With both their problems and their views on things.

Things being both life and me.

I started letting other people create who I am.

I started letting my thoughts think for them too.

And those thoughts changed me.

I was becoming a person I didn't want to be.

Thinking things I didn't want to think.

But the point i'm getting to is that we need to focus on us.

We need to figure out what it is that WE want.

No longer will I let my thoughts over power me.

No longer will I let others define me.

I am going with my heart and soul and letting that be me.

I'm going to be with people who lift my spirits.

(Although lately the ones who used to no longer are...)

But I have started being with people who let me be myself.

I mean i'm thinking some of you might be reading this 

wondering what went wrong. And i'm here to tell you

nothing did.

Your to far away or we just don't have time for each other.

I have realized I can't keep leaning on people.

I can't keep trying to fix myself by expecting you to when you can't.

Your all still my friends. We will still make memories.

But for now I need to do whats best for me.

And that's by being around things that make me feel better.

Man I switched topics.

and it probably sounded confusing.

Because I was trying to hint out alot of things,

without actually telling.

What matters is that I understand.

And writing it down made me gain a better understanding.

Look i'm not a great writer.

But i sure know how to help myself realize the things that I don't get.

Love you all.

Haha I have respect for those who actually read this.

It probably was rather boring today :P 

Next time will be better maybe yeah?

Knowledge of Life

After getting to know me really know me

You start to realize I am a really open person.

I start sharing things, personal things

With all of you and I'm about to tell you why.

Most people would guess

Because your close to them, you want that listening ear.

True. But not my main reason.

Maybe because you just need to vent out those feelings.

More then likely that isn't true for me.

So what is it?

The reason why I open up so much 

is because I'm telling you these things that I dont understand.

Each and everyone of us all have our 

separate windows that we all look through.

You look through and its how you see life.

Its what you perceive and how you feel.

However not one window is the same.

They may have similar views but they are not the same.

We all look through and determine that this is how life is,

You can see it, you know it.

Most times that's why we argue. 

Because you see it one way while another see's it different.

I learned this from a TED talk that really is AMAZING! 

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong.html

That is the link, if your interested. I Highly Recommend.

Anyways but skipping to the point.

I am open because I want you to share with me your view.

I want to understand this problem in different ways.

Because looking at it in just our perspective can't always help.

I YEARN for the knowledge of others perspectives.

I love being able to see things in different views! 

So next time you argue,

The next time you fight.

Think about it,

Because your not always right. 

The Eternal Friend.

This post is dedicated to all my closest friends!

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”j
-Bob Marley